Not really but for real

I was working at GameStop today - and instead of saving bought the Helghast edition of Killzone 3

Tralala *~ ~ Cause I'm a person who is into achieving things I made a "saving chart" for trips Japan and Thailand. It's in my calendar, it's colourful and alluring!!! :o So this is how it works: Everytime I put 20 euros to my trip-saving I give myself a mark. Everytime I have achieved 200euros - I'm allowed to enjoy sweets or bake something! 

                                                 

Today I told one girl that it's hard to read blogs with depression or bulimia - because me and her, we don't want to be like that but we want to be thin. . .

About being addicted to strangers, one girl whose blog I have been reading is telling about quitting.

I felt like choking.  Please don't your writings feel like a hand holding mine.

I wanted to start doing something that people who want to loose weight rarely do  ...talked about eating. 

It was like an absolution 

I didn't eat until 3pm - everybody knows you have to eat all the time something small so your body wont storage extra fat. I ate some fudge - bad you! Yay, today everyone bought lots of stuff from the grocery and I didn't - wow you have such self-discipline. I actually was brave enough to ask them do they ever "revenge" to the other people around like by eating something a little bit and then by giving it away to someone else. - Yes, a short but sure answer.

I want to be skinny, but kind of the reality is hitting my face that I better than stair the scale but the mirror as I'm packed with muscles... I want to be light but I don't want to loose my muscles.. Dilemma.

This past weekend I have changed a couple of lines with a stranger in IRCnet - and now I miss him/her.
I'm having the same feeling like with the girl whom wrote me after Assembly.
So lost, empty and bored.
But with that one girl I actually kind of started to feeling something towards her ... it's a weird feeling oh internets you so random.
                                                                   
 Can't wait Thursday... I want to see Emily Browning. Sleeping Beauty Complex.
Hohoooo I feel silly - I bought 2 tickets to the show but I don't have anyone to go with... But I think I'll enjoy it anyway!!